I am very torn in my friendship with Morris... on one hand he is such a great pal. On the other hand, my mummy REALLY wants to cat-nap him and kiss his head. MY MUMMY!! *pounce* *BUNNYKICK* *MAUL MAUL MAUL*
*ahem* sorry, lost track of where I was for a moment there...
Anyway, here is the man-cat message for the week from one of the most manly cats ever!
"Thank you for asking me to write a bit about myself on your blog! I have written a bit about what is keeping me busy just now. I hope your readers like it :)
My main job at the moment is Kitten Trainer. Not for any kittens in my house - I've made it very clear to Mummy and Mr Lovely that I won't stand for that - but for 3 neighbourhood kittens. I feel that, as a gentlemancat of a Certain Age, it's my responsibility to set an example for them, and show them the Way of the Mancat. It's pretty hard work, I can tell you...
We usually start with a bit of fighting, just as a warm up. A favourite method is the "one on either side of the fence slap-fight" where the aim is to thwack your opponent through the gaps in my garden fence. Extra points are awarded if you can jump on top of the fence and continue the slap-fight from there - balance is everything! For advanced training, we take the fence out of the equation and just concentrate on bare-paw fighting - no claws, of course!
Once we've loosened up, I like to concentrate on the Pounce and Chase. I get the kittens to try and sneak up on me while my back's turned and bat my tail, then I chase them over the fence, down the path, through the hedge and back up the garden. Good aerobic exercise, and it works up an appetite! Sam and Dan Kitten from Next-Door also get extra lessons in Pre-Pounce Stealth, because they get distracted so easily. This involves us being at opposite sides of the garden, hunkering down and staying as still as we can before the sudden pounce. I'm sure they'll get better at it in time, but just now the staying still is beyond them!
The final, and in my opinion the most important lesson is on Looking Adorable and Getting Treats. My star pupil here is Sox, a cat after my own heart. The other 2 kittens just aren't interested in the joy of snacks, but Sox has my mummy wrapped right round his paw, and she even gives him my Greenies! I know what you're thinking - Greenies shouldn't be given away like that! - but I'm just so proud of young Sox for mastering the technique so quickly that I don't mind! Plus mummy always makes sure that I get some too :)
Well, I think that's about all I have to tell you! Being a Kitten Trainer is hard work, but very rewarding. I'm pretty sure that soon Sam, Dan and Sox will be shining examples of Mancatness, and maybe some day they'll be Kitten Trainers themselves!
Thanks again Morris, you're a good pal (stay AWAY from my mummy and we're all good!! heehee)